So Where Was I?

Oh yes, I was saying how I regretted saying I didn't like being an only child. When I was about seven human years old, my mommy's special friend Bryan brought home these two ugly monkeys, who became my new baby brothers. They weren't really monkeys, though that would have been cool. I could teach them to get stuff for me because they have thumbs.

Anyway, she named them Ben and Jerry, which the people seem to find amusing. I don't get it. What I REALLY didn't like was when I got a baby sister, because I wasn't mommy's little girl anymore. I mean, she says I am, but still. I grew to love her, Tilly I mean. She wasn't so bad. And she's a big doggie who listens when I tell her to get stuff off the counter for me. HAHAHA! My mommy still hasn't figured out how we do that, so we'll just keep it that way.

I stopped paying attention when more doggies came to live with us. Some would stay briefly, because Mommy said it was only until they found their own family, and some stay longer. Whatever. As long as they left me alone, I leave them alone. But it's hard to ignore someone like Brendan. He can be so annoying. But I guess I grew to love him too.

I became an auntie a few months ago because Tilly had babies. They're so adorable. That is, until they became crazy thinking they can just sleep in my bed when they want. I DON'T THINK SO! Luckily, most of them found new people to bug. Except one. Bryan nicknamed him "AJ." He needs to go away soon. I am not particularly fond of him chasing my tail.

Anyway, my mom said Tilly's not having anymore babies because she got spades. Hmm... I guess she won a poker game. God forbid she were to get hearts and then where would we be?

So that's pretty much my life. I need to go for a potty break to work off this lumpia... my mommy had a party and she couldn't resist giving me some people food. Of course! Who could ever resist me?

Life As I Know It

You know what, I just realized I never told you my life story. Better late than never I guess. Maybe that'll help me update this thing more often.

Where should I start. I guess I'll start back as far as I remember... when I was sitting in a corner with my stinky brothers and sisters. People would come visit us randomly and all of them would get all excited, jumping up and down like little mongrels. That's just not my style. So when a lady picked me up among all of them and didn't put me back, I was very relieved. As you probably guessed, that was mommy.

She likes to tell the story of how I was such a good little puppy and slept in the laundry basket from when I got home. I still do.

I was an only child for a really long time. Sometimes, it got boring. But boy do I regret saying that now. Quiet times are hard to come by with crazy dogs like Brendan around. *Yawn* I'm getting tired... I'll continue my story later.

I'm an Auntie!

Tilly had -- or should I say -- is having her pups as I type. I am very excited but must keep this short because I am on standby to make sure everything is okay. Here I am being a concerned auntie.


Here's Tilly with the first five of the bunch.


More pics soon!

La-Di-Da

I can't believe it's been three months since I have posted anything! I'm so sorry bloggy friends! I guess I've been busier than I expected. You know... watching Mommy with her inventory, scolding the other pups, exploring the yard for fallen mangoes, napping ... I'm tired just thinking about it.

Let's see... what's going on. Oh ... my mommy was talking about Brendan having a gun, I think. I don't quite understand. She said something about thinking he was "shooting blanks." Whatever that means. But I heard her say he's not after all and now Tilly and Brendan are having babies. I don't know what shooting has anything to do with babies, but I am excited to be Auntie Maxine. Don't tell Tilly, but I think she looks really fat.

My mommy also started going to an office again. She doesn't hang out with us and type type type at home anymore. She said she can't concentrate. But the good news is my pouty face finally won her over and she takes me with her to the office sometimes. Look at me, Maxine the career woman!



The people at Mommy's office are nice. They give me treats! The vet says I need to go on a diet. Whatever. Diet Shmiet. He needs to go on a diet.

I can't really think of anything else to talk about right now. So I'll just nap some more and type again later. Bye!

He's Okay

My mom can be such a DRAMA QUEEN. If you guys are friends with her on Facebook, you must have seen her status about freaking out about Brendan. I don't do Facebook. I'm already too busy to start something else I have to update. But that's another story. Anyway, remember how I mentioned Brendan wasn't feeling well?

I KNEW he would be fine, but you know, Mom's such a worrywart and he went to the vet and got a stick up his booty. Hahaha. Anyway, like I predicted, he's fine. I wish she saw what he was doing when she went to work this morning... eating hairballs AGAIN! I told him that's how he got sick the first time. But does anyone EVER listen to ME? No...

Sick

I foresee a vet visit. Brendan looks like he has a tummy ache. Mommy keeps looking at him and saying she's worried because he started eating all kinds of crap off the table and then vomited his dinner. I kept telling him that just because it was Bryan's birthday, doesn't mean he should eat EVERYTHING off the table. Just the ones that the people are eating too!!! But he doesn't listen. I know I think he's dumb sometimes. But I hope he's okay. Then when he gets all better, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind.

GUAM is Where America's Day Begins A-Hole

My mom was reading the paper today and I just happened to glance over her shoulder at this one article about some guy in Hawaii who wants to move the international date line. I know, huh? Sounds complicated. Lucky I got my own little computer now and learned how to use Google so I was able to figure out exactly what's going on. Here... just read it yourself HERE.

It's all very confusing to me, still, but basically, some wannabe macho lawmaker dude thinks he can steal Guam's slogan!!! I don't know much about date lines or whatever you call them... but I think he should worry about laws that will actually matter... like more money for shelter dogs! Or changing the punishment for animal abuse to the abusers being tied out in the heat with no food and water! Or dumb politicians should be bit in the leg... I'll volunteer.

Gene Ward, GUAM is Where America's Day Begins. And your porch is where I'm gonna poop where America's day ends if you keep this up.